Willow Haven: 2011

Oh sister

What's wrong with your mind?

You used to be so strong and stable

My sister

What made you fall from grace?

I'm sorry that I was not there to catch you

What have the demons done?

With the luminous light that once shined from your eyes

What makes you feel so alone

Was it the whispering ghosts

That you feared the most

But the blackness in your heart

It won't last forever last forever

I know its tearing you apart

But it's a storm you can weather

Oh sister

Those lines etched in your hands

They're hardened and rough like road map of sorrow

My sister

They're is a sadness on your face

You're like a motherless child who's longing for comfort

Whats running through your veins

That's causing you such pain?

Does it have something to do with the pills they gave to you?

What is eating at your soul?

Was it the whispering ghosts that left you out in the cold?

But the blackness in your heart

Will not last forever

I know it's tearing you apart

But it's a storm you can weather

Oh sister

My sister

The things I forgot… documents an ongoing journey and search through a space of extremely close connection and value, my Nan and pops home. The idea of a site based project from a space or site originally directed me to a shop, which was once occupied by my Nan and pop’s franchise grocery store during the 1940s. Although I had never experienced seeing or occupying this space myself other than a building that resonates the total opposite of comparison, my curiosity led me to investigate time, place, family, identity, and cultural shifts in society. I began rummaging through documents, photographs and any type of visual data I could get my hands on at Nan and pops house. Nan began telling me stories of what it was like, ranging from the cost of baked beans to when Woolworths developed and ran them out of business. This dramatic visual and domestic change seemed to dislocate me from the shop and led my heart astray to the more obvious choice of site, their family home.

My Nan and pops house talks heavily of my identity and family history. Nan and pop handed the land next door down to my parents therefore I grew up between these two houses, this developed a number of emerging spaces between the two, along with embedded history of previous generations as my mother and her siblings were brought up in this very house. My body of work illustrates this complex heritage through exploration of materials and silkscreen processes as a reference to identity. The production of my work was influenced by both physical and emotional space through decorative medium of wallpaper and pattern, a transition of nostalgia, beauty and elegance therefore unfolded.

Heavily familiar with this space I enter it again challenging my thought process and internal dialogue. Thinking and re-thinking every step, every conversation and memory I began to realize the value of each fragment within the house. The fact that it’s interior and exterior have hardly changed it displays a nostalgic presence through objects and design, such as the wallpaper, carpet, furniture, ornaments, photographs and family heirlooms. These ornaments and objects evoke memory, they speak of preciousness and value, not only sentimental but also emotional and historical value within my family history. Wallpaper patterns and domestic decoration refer to these markers of memory, narratives of identity, nostalgia and longing or be-longing. This wallpaper and decoration is used as a device to focus on the exploration between people and places, my Nan and I. The use of wallpaper is a way to position myself in both the past and the present moment, as well as create a sense of home.

In compiling my images I began making drawings of these objects and ornaments found in my Nan’s house. From this I had 3 large pieces of paper in which to create a palimpsest of images, as each new screen was created I added another layer onto this paper creating a simultaneous impression.

As quoted by Joanna Kambourian:

Overlaying images in palimpsest not only becomes a tool to describe identity as they change, effect and alter each other but also enables a process to create new and unique patterns.[1]

These unique prints represent 3 rooms in Nan’s house; categorized through layering of various tones of colour this represents the nature of her personal traits and order in which she decorated her house. With the pink room mainly focusing on shades of pink and the purple room of shades of purple, this idea has been continued throughout these unique prints. The composition was derived by the idea of the gaze and perspective by using a template to create a frame of layered images. I have then referenced a contemporary artist, Kara Walker by using a direct quote of hers and substituting some words for my own. Starting the CMYK process I was really excited and my first prints of this was the wallpaper in my Nan’s house. I remember getting mesmerized as I used to trace my finger down and around each flower and pattern until it ended. I was overly pleased with the result of this print. I then moved on to cutting out a doll in Photoshop that Nan made, after exposing it I experienced a number of troubles with the emulsion, which therefore put out the registration. After Gary had mentioned to just print it and see how it goes. I then printed it and I hated it, but then realized the beauty of the offset as a ghost print. This was an accident that occurred at the right time and I learnt that these accidents are never bad, there’s always a positive you can pull out of it.

Through developing the skills of silk-screen printing I have realized the extreme importance of research as a tool for inspiration and contemporary referencing. The artists, Kara Walker, Joanna Kambourian, Kt Doyle, Annette Messager, Hannah Bertram and Rebecca Mayo, have heavily influenced me and contributed to the representation of aesthetic value through pattern, silhouette and elegant design. The prominent paisley, pink pattern that is represented through many of my prints was traced and redrawn from a pattern found. This quote that I found deeply inspiring, supports these ideas of collecting and re-representing.

This is a quote from a filmmaker, Jim Jarmusch:

Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery-celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “Its not where you take things from- its where you take them to.[2]

In my installation I have chosen to arrange cutouts of different pattern inspired by the doll CMYK print in a spontaneous spaced out order similar to the installations of Annette Messager. The prints are larger in number closest to the wall and reach out subtracting to just one or two silhouettes. This was deliberate to represent the realization of my thoughts and feelings whilst developing this project. I realized I was stalling myself from developing further, because I was portraying through a narrative of occupancy, I felt that if I came to a fixed outcome or an end, just like a story, the idea of losing my Nan and Pop was constantly in my head. They are 90 and 91 this year so it felt as if I was counting the days I have left with them as they are coming to that age of an end. My pops developing dementia so this project has been an emotional one as I am very close to him and he barely knows who I am now. This part of my installation represents this longing for belonging, counting the days and the gaps in mine and more so my pops memory.

This is quote from Kt Doyle supports the understanding of this part of my installation:

It’s as though connection with the space is made, but then is ‘unmade’ where the pattern falls away, negotiating our sense of belonging through the concept of presence and absence.[3]

The wall consisting of partially covered wallpaper prints also represents these gaps in memory. I then decided to create generic objects to represent the importance and value of such things in the house. As a Bearer of meaning and memory.[4]

I was intrigued by the oblivious observation of myself as I realize the impact such precedors have on their family. The traits and habits that get passed down unknowingly until you actually stop and realize this connection and where it has come from, you then realize the importance of your identity and the origins that make of it.

I know I am still travelling with these ideas and thoughts, and that I have discovered a great connection and love for pattern, wallpaper and designs similar to the artists I have referenced or listed in this critique. I know that my Nan and pop have heavily influenced my work from day 1 as they contributed and are a big part of my life. Exploring the combination of these factors, these discoveries and the process of silk-screen printing has developed a greater love for what I am doing, and why I am studying visual arts.

[1] Joanna Kambourian ‘Hybrid hyphenations’ if the walls could talk…, visual arts honours’ thesis statement 2009, p. 16.

[2] Jim Jarmusch, 'Jim Jarmusch’s Golden Rules', MovieMaker Magazine, no. 53, 200, http://www.moviemaker.com/directing/article/jim_jarmusch_2972/

[3] Kt Doyle Falling Leaves Damask Series 2009, http://www.ktdoyle.com/wallpaper_samples/ (retrieved 22/05/11)

[4] Helen Scalway, 'A patois of pattern: pattern, memory and the cosmopolitan city', Cultural Geographies, Vol. 13, no. 3, 2006, p452

Below: CMYK print